On being the change.

Stream of consciousness writing is a goal I am striving for in my artistic process.

I usually don't do it, but it opens the gates for more ideas, for sure. 

Anyway, here are some thoughts I've been sitting on for a few weeks. 


my place is becoming clear. be the change. teach the change. become without fearing. create a beautiful world. intentions, love, freedom. take the old thoughts and destroy them. tear them down until they are just rubble and sand. piece by piece build bits together, create a new reality. stand in the face of hate, greed, ignorance. build in the shadows of those that want to destroy humanity. build the walls higher and higher, until all anyone can see... is love.
make acceptance the only idea that needs understanding. reject ideas that tear people down... accept ideas that tear fears down. become a fighter for those that can't fight, and stand beside those that can. become togetherness and drive. drive to keep this world beautiful for our children. teach them to believe in the beauty, above all else. teach them to see pieces of themselves in each other. we are not alone, our place is together.
together we can love. we need not close our eyes and erase differences. we need to embrace and celebrate what makes us unique. the uniqueness in each of us is our drive to live, to survive. what makes us become part of a whole? it is not all being the same, it is bringing differences and appreciating  them in others. we can lend to each other the courage, the strength, to love ourselves. we love ourselves- we love each other. it is okay to stand out. we must in order to teach. who will listen if we sit back and fade into the crowd? who will believe in our voices if they are meek and scared?? who will take the time to notice, if we ourselves don't make an effort to make it be known that we are HERE?! ... and we will fight for what's right and good. we will fight for equality, peace, love, acceptance. and we will use our hands, our voices, our hearts.
we will not be afraid to be the change.

This boy.

I haven't written much about J in months.... today I feel the need to write some stuff down.

Over the winter holidays we drove thousands of miles to visit family 'back East' and this kid didn't bat an eyelash. I'd like to brag for a second and mention that we don't have a DVD player and he doesn't have an iPod. Just us, the road, some plastic dinosaurs, and a coloring book. I was terrified, and he proved to be just as good at traveling as my sister and I were at that age- before there were DVD players and iPods...

That's not all. He *loves* hiking... for hours and hours. 

He begs for haircuts and sits perfectly still for the buzzers. 

He is SO independent and can make his own PB sandwiches and even -carefully- pour his own OJ. He can put on his own unders, socks, pants, and coat. 

He hasn't eaten a veggie (knowingly) since before Christmas. 

Luckie is his best friend, they play chase and catch everyday.

He loves vintage Spiderman cartoons, and anything train, robot, or dinosaurs. 

He can build a Lincoln-log house all by himself, slat roof and all. 

He sings a song when he's playing with his trains that goes, "train tracks, train tracks... train tracks, train tracks..."

He is in constant motion. All. The. Time. Unless he's asleep, but then he's in motion again the second he's awake. He wakes me up in the morning and tells me I have nice hair, then asks if I'm awake and tells me it's time to eat. And then we hit the ground running. He's the energizer bunny reincarnate... Which is why I'm not worried that he hasn't had a veggie in months... He's obviously healthy (right? is that how it works? haha...)

He naps like a champ, like 2 hours a day, seriously. Man, I love that about him. 

I love everything about him.
Yup. 3 1/2 year old Johnny. He is just what I needed in my life. 

P.s. Last week he told me his feet were on fire because he was a rocket and it helped him fly. Today he asked me to fix his scraped knee. When I said I couldn't fix it, that it would heal in time, he asked me if he would grow a new knee, which totally, *totally* makes me grin.


P.p.s. Those two photos were taken like three days apart. Arizona is turning out to be a kind of strange place.

31.

I had a birthday a few days ago. This was taken that night. 

I feel like I'm finally growing into the woman I want to be. Here's to another year of growth and change.
*Cheers*